It was like a narrow, very wilful personality had to go, but to do that it had first to go to extremes in order to destroy itself. Then it was as if the life-force switched itself off. I realised that you can’t take the life-force for granted, you do not control it, it calls the shots. This is Pluto.

Also “I could not sleep [till 5am] but also was exhausted and had no physical energy at all”. This went on for years. Psychically I came to feel I’d been through major surgery. Astrologically it was Pluto squaring my natal Sun-Chiron in Aquarius. but the outcome was like slowly giving birth to myself for the first time, and it gradually and completely pulled apart my outward life.

Now, 17 years later, Neptune/Chiron is doing the same thing and I’m feeling deeply cornered as a I write! But also these are the times when in a sense you are most alive because the need for change is at its most imperative.

And to answer sk:

It depends on the individual and the individual situation, of course, so hard to make a blanket recommendation. But I will say that often the feeling one is about to crack up is a call from the psyche for time out, time to process, time to feel. So a retreat of some kind, even for a few days is of value. If you can arrange a series of retreats over a substantial period of time, so much the better, That way you can maintain the stability of your outer life while also taking care of the inner.

Some people need a more extreme experience, and may want to collapse their existing life, go on retreat, and then recreate outer structures.

I hope this helps and feel free to ask more.