It’s been a very busy time since I last wrote here, on several fronts. At the end of May I went to Nottingham to receive the Vajrasattva empowerment from His Holiness the Dalai Lama and to listen to him speak. His message is increasingly ecumenical and this time, even when giving a practice, he suggested people substitute their own religious figure (Jesus for example) for the Buddha. I hadn’t seen him since the late 90′s and he seemed even stronger to me, clearer, more defined yet also more transparent. And then in June I went to Cornwall for a wonderful four day retreat on the Chod and Prajna Paramita practices with Lama Tsultrim Allione who I last studied with in 1988. She made a profound impression on me then, and even more so now. Her being clearly shows the fruit of her years of dedicated practice and that was a deep inspiration. These teachings meant I have been doing more than my usual practice since, which has been helpful in sustaining my energy, concentration and inner state the past few weeks.
On June 16th Love Begins at 40 was released and so began a slew of publicity engagements, the first time I have been through the modern media machine, which seems to mainly function within its own bubble, constantly self-referencing. Thus if you get an article in x, that leads to an interview on y etc etc even though everyone has themselves received a copy of the book and publicity packet. I did about 20 radio interviews including the Vanessa Feltz show on Radio London, some tv: BBC Breakfast and Five News, and some press which resulted in pieces in the Daily Express and Woman’s Own. The book got a long and glowing review in the Daily Mail and they were supposed to do a feature but we got bumped off by some revelation about plastic surgery on the G spot. (It is to weep.) I wrote an article for Good Housekeeping magazine which will be in the November issue (out early October). Now our publicist is on holiday along with just about everyone else in London and so all has gone quiet.
Which is a good thing as I went straight into preparing the manuscript and final matters for the new edition of Her Blood Is Gold, out September 12th. And I was filmed for Britain’s Next Top Coach for which I am an expert in the field of “Life and Relationships”, submitted another manuscript for publication (more on this soon), had various visitors to stay, and hosted a party for the book launch and my birthday. And took care of all the usual work: clients, Planetary Energies, designed a new class for OCA, did the final edit on a piece that will be in the October Mountain Astrologer. Plus the village has been unusually social this summer with several big parties.
I am not tired, but certainly feeling the need to digest and to fully relax, and am off to France tomorrow. I started writing this piece today with the thought : “how do we integrate intense periods in our lives?”
As a writer and therapist who works from home I keep my balance by being very routine in my life. I work with intense material — intellectually, emotionally, spiritually — all the time, and I balance this by being very still and quiet otherwise. I haven’t taken a real holiday in several years because I haven’t felt I needed one. Yes, I go to France, but that is a change of scene — I still work all the time I am there. But now I realize I do need a holiday, a complete break and rest. Don’t know when that will happen though! I’m leaving early in the morning for France, but this time to pack up the house there and organize moving the precious stuff back here (books, mainly) and letting go of the rest. That era is over. The arrangement I had that allowed me to have a house there is over now, and it is time to move on.
Endings give us the opportunity for integration. They demand it, but they also naturally provoke it. In clearing up that house I will be touching objects, books, clothes, that resonate with the years I lived there, and from before that back deep into this life (because I am sentimental and carry things from place to place). That touching, that contact, will allow for an energetic integration of several phases, and I hope, bring me more fully into the present in England. I know I will find increasingly good strategies for making this gentle explosion of my public persona here, this being out-in-the-world, palatable, healthy, and productive. I enjoy it: I found it completely natural to be on television and to be in a mainstream medium. I felt able to be myself in a way that felt good, secure, and steady. So that’s a relief, to know that.
Just to end: I have a practice for when I feel out-of-sorts, disconnected, discombobulated. I have a collection of stones from all over the world, from the places I have loved and been to on journeys. I take them all out of their basket and wash them, touching each one carefully. This energetically connects me to the various strands and imprints on my being in this life. It helps to anchor me.
Everyone has their own way of integrating and it’s a useful thing to be conscious of, and to create your own ritual around. Otherwise it’s all too easy to try to integrate unconsciously through eating too much or shopping or otherwise doing comforting behaviors that seem to offer a way to come back into the body. Do something directly and it will help.
